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Writer's pictureRoxy davies

Murphy Dog - I’m grateful for my grieving

7 days ago. (9th Sept 206) 7 days ago i said goodbye to my best friend, my "dog of a life time". In trying to work through my own grief over losing him, I thought it would help to write about some of the things I’m grateful for, during Murphy's last year (with a bit of back story). He was a special dog to me, my family and our friends. We had an amazing bond, formed over 16 years and we shared this with many people on the way.

So this whole business began (has been shaped by) a 16 year old and now three year old rescue. This story starts a little over 15.8 years ago. The best thing my mum has ever done for me. I recall the conversation "get a job and you can have a dog". WHAT!!! After admiring EVERY dog since i can remember and befriending them quite naturally ( i never wanted to hug or really stroke them, just watch and be with). This may seem like a simple task, getting a job but for me at the time it was a mountain. Overcoming the fear of speaking in public, a slight stutter and moderate anxiety I called the local pub and asked for a job. BOOM interview the next day. I got away lightly, as the interview was with the publicans during their busiest part of the year summer, i was keen and became the village pot wash. In the tiny hamlet of Elsing, Norfolk.

Things iv done because of Murphy dog. I honestly believe Murphy has been my best teacher. Not that i had bad teachers (far from it) but more because he gave me confidence and support. Stability. I kept that pub job (to pay for my best friend) for 8 odd years. I graduated from pot wash to bar maid, and sous chef. Murphy came to work with me in the pub and pottered among the punters - so a sign needed to be made that he didn't (shouldn't) eat junk food (and people bought him steak!). He came to school with me (insets and after hours) and lapped up any attention or watched me mark/plan waiting to see if we could play.

University followed - Animal Behaviour Bsc (hon) and Murphy dog came with with me. I am grateful this opportunity that was given to us. He was a quick learner and although not allowed in university accommodation I taught him to play dead in my laundry basket to sneak him in (even carrying him up the three flights of stairs). Many a inspection (it was serviced accommodation) was passed with Murphy doing the best "play dead" under my duvet. He attended my lectures and prompted the lectures with a gentle huff and noisy stretch, that it was wee break time half way through. Some began bringing tennis balls for Murphy to play with, to his delight.

Murphy spent hours in the library and insisted on sitting on my knee (equally distracting as fb). He took in late books for me carrying them to the librarian avoiding the fine.

I took a leap of faith and took My Dogs Den full time to have more time with Murphy dog. We both enjoyed this extra time. Short 'sniff and follow' walks (he sniffed, i followed) and many coffee shop visits. Murphy enjoyed his retirement.

Murphy formed great relationships with lots of the daycare dogs - Maisie beagle and Binkey being two of his favorites. After a huge thunder storm Murphy developed separation anxiety. So to see him excel in this social setting and re​duce his stress levels was a huge achievement. He was happy to chill at home. He also taught lots of pups how to socalise and to be social. Im thankful I was able to help Murphy be comfortable around other dogs.

He had a busier social life than me. Md went and spent time with Malders on Fridays and Bethan while were holding evening classes. Nap times, biscuit finding, tv watching, ham eating good times. He had a few sleep overs with Chrissie and potters round the lake. Murphy wooed this little family right to the point he shared the bed (to the point disturbing this sleeping beauty was avoided, as he was so cute). Im grateful Murphy had lots of company with those that were smitten with him. He was also smitten with them.

We went of a mini break - Murphy was in his element - the pub​​ hotel. Greeting anyone that smiled at him. Resting by the fire and jumping on the giant bed at the end of the night snoring his head off. Im grateful to the strangers that welcomed Murphys greeting and encouraged him to say hello, even if across the other side of the bar or on the disco floor of the 18 year olds birthday party (conformation he was going deaf)

We were given some extra time. Murphy had heart failure. At Easter he had no recognisable heart beat, it was in a bad way. He excelled on medication and stabilised, with little, if any relapses. The vets were always happy with him on check ups and surprised how strong he was. He had so much love for us and zest for life. He maintained a high quality of life. Im grateful for the woodland walk and pictures that Ryan took for us.

We moved house and Murphy dog loved it. A massive garden for him to dig until his heart was content. He settled for three digging sites. The furthest from the house was massive (still is as i cant bring myself to fill it in). The closest to the house is the one we discouraged the most but enjoyed that Murphy was passionate enough to jump fences to get to it. Im grateful for those who looked after Murphy and enjoyed him being a "hippo" in his hole.

We celebrated his 16th birthday. Not many dogs reach this mile stone. We drove Murphy dog to the beach after work and gifted him 16 balls and a sheep soft toy. He stared as they rolled in the sand, not sure which to round up. There are no pictures as it got dark. His face was a treat. The moon was massive and red. Stars were bright. The hot chocolate (for us) with marshmellows and cream tasted amazing. Murphy ate sausages and chilled listening to the waves and watched us swim. He pottered and sniffed. Journey time was over 3 hours for a 1.5 hour visit - but it was TOTALLY worth it!

He trusted Elin to the moon and back. Im grateful they had this relationship. When Murphy hurt himself (or was traumatized with the gum stuck to his foot) Elin was his chosen nurse. When he felt icky he laid by me. Im grateful Elin allowed Murphy to break the rules (these have always been guidelines), he had earnt it!

He had a awesome last week. He continued to dig with his nose, play games like he was a puppy and laid close to you when watching tv. We didnt know it was his last day, it was calm, Murphy was happy. The vet was amazing, we are truly grateful for this.

Im grateful for everyone i've met directly or indirectly because of Murphy, i make that the majority, including you.

Im grateful for the 16 years.

Time has come for the biggest thank you and hardest Goodbye.

RIP Murphy Dog


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